Sampan Mehta Week 16: Memories of Old Friend Groups
I am sure that many of us, almost all of us, had a friend group from elementary school or from a young age that was thought to be inseparable no matter what. From the beginning of starting school, I quickly became friends with some people and thought that these friendships would last for a long time. For example, I had a good friend since kindergarten, and we had switched the same schools coincidentally. Then, in fourth grade, both of us became friends with three other students and had formed a friend group. Everything was great and we had all remained friends up until 6th grade when one of our friends left Fremont. During 7th grade is when our group started to fall apart further. One of my friends left Fremont half-way into 7th grade, and I even started to stop hanging out with them and started finding new friends. Then, the pandemic hit, and I lost almost all contact with my old friend group.
After in-person school resumed in 9th grade, I started to notice my old friends again, but instead of saying hi or anything, they simply turned away and acted like I never existed. I understood that after the pandemic many people were disconnected but most of my friends had been for a long time. I was able to connect with one of my best friends since kindergarten, but after 9th grade, even he started to ignore me. In fact, in 10th grade, my old friend was in my lab group in chemistry for over a quarter of the semester, and we never talked to each other, once. I figured it was my fault for not starting a conversation, but anytime I did, I was blatantly ignored, so I gave up.
Since then, I have joined a much better friend group, one of them includes a good friend I had from my 7th grade science class, and I have never looked back at my old friend group. Yes, they still continue to ignore me and each other, and all seem to have moved on, but that is fine with me as it gave me a chance to find a more friendly group of people. I will never forget the memories I had of my old friend group from elementary all the way until middle school, but I learned that people can change, and I must adapt as well to continue moving forward. I hope my current friend group will make new memories together and will remain for a long time. I have always kept the thought in my mind of how the old friend group would have remained together if the pandemic did not shut down school, but I guess we will never find out now.
Links:
https://medium.com/illumination/once-friends-now-strangers-1f7cb78e036a
Hi Sampan! Your blog is so relatable and I’m sure many people have also had friends who came and went throughout the years. It is really sad when a friend moves away and I’m sorry that two of your friends left during 6th grade and 7th grade. I hope they’re able to make good friends at their new schools. The pandemic also affected my relationships with my friends greatly and I lost almost all contact with some of them. I remember making many more online friends during that period since I would spend so much time on my computer. Did you also connect to online friends during that time? I also thought it was brave of you to try and start conversations with your old friend, and I wonder why he would try to ignore you. Friendships are pretty difficult sometimes. I’m glad that you think your friend group is much better now, and I hope your old friends also find good friend groups and will be less cold to their new friends! I also hope your friend group will keep in touch as we go on to college. I like how you included your last comment of wondering what state your friend group would be in if the pandemic never hit. It is such an interesting question and I have asked that myself a few times as I kept hopping through friend groups. Hopefully this one will stick and we’ll all make more good friends in the future! Super interesting blog to read and an excellent topic!
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! I deeply relate to your experiences of moving between friend groups. I understand that this can truly be difficult and heartbreaking, and we all experience this to some extent at one point or another. Growing up I was subconsciously jealous of my brother, who had a core friend group that started in elementary school and has lasted to this day, as graduate students. The only constant in my life is my best friend, which we have maintained despite him moving to Hopkins Middle School and Mission San Jose High School. I only see him during the holidays and breaks, but our connection is self-assured and confident. My other friend groups, however, have changed. People move, transfer schools, or spend more time in other groups. I especially connect with you on the fact that our connections were pruned due to the pandemic. I am sorry that you had to endure the treatment of your old friends, and I can vividly imagine how bittersweet it is to reminisce on your shared memories during elementary school. I am glad that you have found a new friend group, as these connections can sustain us in our moments of stress and anxiety. It is a great thing that we can constantly adapt, as times when people separate seem to come inevitably.
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! Thank you for sharing this personal and reflective blog, as it is deeply connected to our experience as students in grade school. I appreciate that you drew on personal experiences, even though they may not be the best memories. These personal examples allowed me to get a better idea of the situation you were speaking about in your blog. Like you said, a lot has changed since the COVID-19 pandemic, especially relating to our friends and the ways that we interact with other students.
ReplyDeleteFor me, coming back from COVID-19 was a very interesting and memorable experience. While I was able to stay in touch with most of my friends over the internet while school were closed, it did not match the experience of being in person. Coming back to school in person showed me just how valuable our friendships are. They can influence our values and our opinions, and also greatly change (for better or for worse) our school experience. This shows just how important the social aspect of our lives are. Finding people that you can relate to and can have fun and be yourself around allows you to have a positive experience in life and relieve sources of stress or contention.
Once again, thank you for sharing this blog which allowed me to reflect on the role that friends play in our lives, and the ways that friendships can change with them. As we become adults, the way that we interact with our friends will change. However, the impact that they have on our lives will be just as significant.
Hi Sampan,
ReplyDeleteI found the title of your blog itself to be very nostalgic. It instantly reminded me of the friends I had in elementary school. Despite how close we were in elementary school, some of them moved, and others just unfortunately drifted apart. Now that I reflect on it, the pandemic was a major reason my friends and I became disconnected. It also didn’t help that two of my closest elementary and middle school friends decided to move to different states and cities right after the pandemic. I can also relate to your feelings of your friends turning away right after the pandemic. In fact, this still happens now. During freshman and sophomore year, I used to be quite close with this girl in one of my classes. However, this year, when we had zero classes together, she would never even say “hi” in the hallways. While we weren’t that close so I didn’t think it was too important, I was confused as to what happened to basic acknowledgment that the other person exists. I understand how disappointing losing old friend groups can be, but I’m truly happy that you’ve found a new friend group with whom you can look forward to the future with. Regardless of whether or not this group will stick, I think it’s important to just live life in the present and not worry too much about the future. I really don’t know what will come of my friends and I in the future, especially considering that we’ll be going to college (probably all different colleges) next year but all I know is that I love the time I spend with them now and that’s all that matters. We’ll always make friends along the way! I really enjoyed reading your blog and thank you for sharing such an insightful topic with us.
Hey Sampan! Like everyone else who has commented, I also relate your bittersweet experiences with being friends with someone. It really speaks to how growing apart is a universal experience in life that everyone has to go through; almost always, it’s for the better. If I had told myself at the beginning of junior year that I would never talk to one of my closest friends in my sophomore year friend group ever again, I would not have believed myself! Her and I got into a fight this year, and ever since then we have never interacted. At the moment, I was so mad at how inconsiderate of a person she was, not just towards me but everyone else in our friend group as well. I was also sad that our group would be losing a person. Nevertheless, as time passed from our fight, I was able to see how she was never a person I wanted to be spending my time with in the beginning. I’m grateful for the chance to see who she really is, and like yourself, I’m also grateful for the opportunity to grow closer with the rest of my friends. Time is such a powerful thing because only with the passing of time can fake friends show their true colors. Rather than dwelling on the past and wondering why that person left me or hurt me, it can be stated that it is better to focus on the present to be able to move forward. Life has so many opportunities, and it really is up to us to prepare ourselves in order to be ready when the opportunities come. I agree with what you said about how people can change and that we must adapt and move forward because that’s just life. Nevertheless, reminiscing about the past is something everyone does, and to a certain degree, it's good too. What are your opinions on to what extent we should hold on to the past versus embracing the present and future?
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! Your post beautifully captures the bittersweet nature of friendships and how they evolve. It's a narrative that many of us can relate to, especially after the disruptive impact of the pandemic on our social lives. I find that reflecting on childhood friendships is a nostalgic exercise. Typically, we believe that the bonds formed during our early years are unbreakable, and the certainty with which we hold these beliefs can make it much more painful when they do not last. Your story of a friend group that started in kindergarten and lasted until middle school brings back memories for many of us who thought our early friendships would withstand the test of time. The way you describe the gradual “break-up” of this group—from one friend moving away in sixth grade, another leaving midway through seventh grade, to finally the complete disconnection during the pandemic—is a reminder of how friendships can fade. I think that the pandemic was a significant disruptor. It forced us into isolation, away from the daily interactions that sustain friendships. The experience of returning to in-person school in ninth grade, only to find that old friends had moved on, is something that many can relate to. The silence and cold shoulders from people who once were close friends can be disheartening. It's clear that you made efforts to reconnect, but sometimes people change in ways that make rekindling old friendships challenging, if not impossible. It's important to cherish the memories of past friendships without letting them hold you back. As you accurately noted, people change, and we must adapt to continue moving forward. Your post serves as a reminder to all of us about the passing of friendships and the necessity of adaptation. It encourages readers to reflect on their own experiences with friends, both past and present, and to appreciate the fluid nature of these relationships. Great job!
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