Rashmi Navalpakkam, Week 15 - Revisiting the Child in Me

        


(Image Credit: Dreams | Spirizia)

        “Tell us about your interest in chemistry. What area(s) of chemistry do you find most interesting, and why?” The screen on my 15.7 inch Lenovo IdeaPad had been displaying these two questions for the last two hours, and yet, the page below was still blank. 

        I couldn’t comprehend why the page was still left blank. I had written multiple essays like this for previous internships and summer programs I had applied. So why was it taking me so long to write the same thing?  

        I gradually started typing: “My interest in chemistry stemmed from a spectroscopy lesson in . . . It’s such a universal study that impacts all different fields. . . I want to be a part of the journey of developing new nanomaterials using chemical synth-” I stopped. I thought for a moment. I thought for another moment. Did I just want to be part of this journey because of a chemistry lesson? Is that it? Am I making my life choice based on one lesson I learned in sophomore Honors Chemistry?

        This was so hard for me to comprehend. I truly believe that you should stick to your dreams as a child and that there is always a way to do what you aspire to do. But after reading over my essay again and again and again, I realized that nothing I stated would ever awe the 7-year-old me. For as long as I can remember, I’ve been saying that chemistry is what I want to do. But why? It seems that even after writing several essays, I hadn’t figured out the answer to this. 

        It’s not that chemistry isn’t what I want to do. I know I one hundred percent want to pursue it. But my brain just can’t pinpoint the right answer for why. 

        As I thought about it, I remembered a show I watched when I was 7-years old: The Fullmetal Alchemist. After seeing these children fight bad guys using alchemy, I ran to my mom, telling her I wanted to be an alchemist. In fact, I was so passionate about alchemy that at the age of 7, I started searching for jobs that use alchemy. Of course, none of my results were successful since alchemy was extremely outdated. 

        However, as I reflect upon that time, I’ve realized that my childhood dreams of being an alchemist stimulated my first passion for chemistry.  A few years ago, I read an article about how nanochemistry could be the new alchemy. Altering nano-level properties of simple molecules to create novel materials is strikingly similar to altering the 4 basic elements to transmute base metals like lead into gold in 12th-century alchemy. I’m sure my love for chemistry would align with 7-year-old me’s dreams now.


Comments

  1. Ayush ChaurasiaApril 26, 2024 at 8:27 PM

    Hello Rashmi. I really enjoyed reading this blog post because of how it presents a relatable issue in a unique manner. Earlier this year, I was also applying to internships and summer programs, and I faced the same dilemmas you did. Why did I really want to do that summer program? What could I offer to the goals of the program? Of course, I was interested in the topic of all those programs, but I also struggled to locate the real roots of that interest. Unlike you, I failed to pinpoint a specific movie that inspired me—I began to doubt myself, to think that my passions were all just superficial likings. However, I soon realized that my passion was actually inspired by the people in my life. As a kid, all I knew about my uncle’s job was that it had something to do with computers. And he had a cool motorbike. And a nice jeep. And that was enough for me. As I grew up, when I was asked what I wanted to do as an adult, I always responded “something to do with computers.” On another note, an additional reason why I enjoyed reading this blog post was the ironic humor in the lack of jobs requiring alchemy. Aside from this, I find it amazing how you have maintained such a strong passion for chemistry throughout your life.

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