Rashmi Navalpakkam, Week 14 - The First Time I Met Marnie

 

(Image Credit: When Marnie Was There (2014) - IMDb)

        Alameda County Library - the Fremont main library. The one with the huge windows on top. The one with the kids story time at 7 PM every Monday, where I used to sit in a circle and get exactly one Reese's Peanut Butter Cup at the end. The one where I found my first and last series of books that I actually enjoyed reading - Mr. Putter & Tabby. The one where I spent all my time not reading books, ironically, but picking out which movies to watch for the week. The one my mother would never fail to take me to at the end of each Monday no matter how long or busy her workday was. 


        But most importantly, the one where I met Marnie for the first time. I remember that day vividly. I ran to the shelf and that’s when I first saw her - her wavy blonde hair, the blue eyes. She was hold hands with another girl, Anna. They were the complete opposite - Anna had bead-like, blackish-blue eyes, and short dark hair. But somehow, they fit together perfectly. They looked at ease and at peace, something 7-year old me couldn’t quite pinpoint but had a innate understanding of.  


        Eager to connect and understand Marnie and Anna, I took them home. I studied them, watching attentively for exactly 1 hour and 43 minutes. At the end of my study, I think I was probably more confused than I was at the beginning. There was so much nuance in them and in their life - the queer identity, the emotional isolation, the physical isolation, the platonic love, and so much more - that the 7-year old me couldn’t quite comprehend. Despite not understanding, there was something that told me that the nuance wasn’t bad. In fact, it was right. It fit in. It was meant to be there. 


        I met Marnie and Anna again recently this year. I met them the same way I met them 9 years ago - through a screen. Particularly a screen that played from a DVD disk. The title of the disk was When Marnie Was There. The study was yet once again an incredible experience beginning to end. But one thing was different - I actually understood it. Those feelings and emotions which I couldn’t quite comprehend before were now clear to me. I didn’t only understand them, but I also resonated with them. It seems the connection 7-year old me made but couldn’t quite pinpoint finally came into light after 9 years of experience and constant knowledge. 

Comments

  1. Allison April 16, 2024 at 9:47 AM

    Hi Rashmi! I like how you described your experiences at the library at the beginning of the blog, and the inclusion of your discovery of the first and last series of books you actually enjoyed reading is really humorous. I also loved going to the library frequently as a kid, and this blog brings me so much nostalgia. Moments like this are extremely worth remembering and a perfect fit for the topic of memories. I also like how you mentioned that you watched the movie attentively and how you called it a “study.” The feeling of being so confused after watching a movie is so relatable, and not just feelings of confusion, too. I still remember being deathly afraid of Zootopia when I was younger, but now that movie no longer scares me. I even watched that nightmare of a film again a few years back and came to realize that it wasn’t too bad after all. I like how you rewatched Marnie and Anna again recently and were actually able to catch things you missed as a child, showing how you’ve grown as a person. Your blog also makes me consider all the movies I watched as a kid that I felt indifferent towards. Would I enjoy them much more now that I could catch some of the complexities of the storyline more easily? I’ve been reading and watching movies much less than before due to being busy, and I miss the times when I could just curl up on the couch for hours reading. Maybe summer can be the time to catch up to some great novels,

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  2. Sampan MehtaApril 16, 2024 at 9:35 PM

    Hi Rashmi,
    I really enjoyed reading your blog as I also enjoyed going to the library all the time when I was younger. In contrast, my main library was the Union City Library which I still vividly remember up to this day and later on; there was this one small creek with a bridge right next to the Union City library that I always remember walking over, and the nostalgic feeling of driving past that library hits me every time. I have only been to Fremont Main Library a handful of times, and I might be biased here, but I definitely prefer the Union City Library, but of course it has been my main library for the longest time. When you mentioned that you not only checked out books, but movies as well, I was reminded that I also always enjoyed checking out movies and large stacks of books. I miss the days when I used to go to the check out line with a huge stack of books and go home while reading. Additionally, it is nice that you have your own memories from a film about Marnie and Anna and how many years later you truly understand the meaning behind the film. It makes me wonder how many movies I have watched that I never quite understood when I was younger, but after rewatching it I better understand what the real meaning was. Lastly, thank you for sharing your memories from the Fremont Library and I hope I can find time for myself over summer to revisit the Union City Library.

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  3. Andrelina HsuApril 17, 2024 at 12:37 AM

    Hey Rashmi! Your recollection of revisiting a childhood book made me think back on when I decided to revisit an old childhood movie, The Notebook. I remember watching it for the first time at a young age and feeling entranced yet perplexed by Allie and Noah’s story. I could not understand why Allie, who was so deeply in love with Noah, could almost marry someone else. This is because, back then, I did not understand the deeper implications involved with relationships. Therefore, when I rewatched it again recently, I found myself experiencing a shift in perspective as the movie evoked resonance and empathy inside me rather than confusion and frustration like before. With the growth of my own experiences, my views towards relationships changed drastically, and I went through a similar journey from confusion to clarity and from observation to resonance. In turn, I feel like experiences like these really encapsulate the essence of growth and introspection. It speaks to the timeless power of literature and film to shed light on the human experience as it invites people to explore deeper into the complexities of identity, love, and belonging with empathy and open hearts. What I noticed that stayed the same for both times of watching The Notebook was the tears that rolled off of my face at the end of the movie. Despite not understanding the deeper meanings behind specific things in the movie, the ending was able to make me cry both times. Upon analyzing the change in perspective, I started thinking about the true values behind comparing our feelings towards certain things now with those back then. What insights do you think we can gain from revisiting them through the lens of maturity and understanding?

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