Ayush Chaurasia - Week 14 - Why Do We Forget the Good?
“When life is hard it’s easy to focus only on the bad things and forget all about the good things.”
When the famous American evangelist Billy Graham first said this, he likely meant it with a religious meaning—to focus on the God-given blessings in one’s life rather than on one’s hardships.
But now, I want to examine this phrase more literally. Why is it that even the smallest misfortunes can overshadow all that is great in a person’s life?
Chances are that you have gotten a bad test grade once in your life, and even though your overall grade in the class was still fine, that poor score still bothered you for the rest of the day. The fact you even remember that test is a sign of how you—and most other people—remember bad events in their life much more vividly than good ones. And the reason why isn’t that everyone is just naturally pessimistic. Rather, the long process of evolution over the past hundreds of thousands of years has trained our brains to “focus on the negative” because remembering harmful situations used to be necessary to our survival—now, even with the comfort and safety of a modern lifestyle, our brains still think the same way.
So how does this thinking really affect our lives? I already mentioned that it is easier to remember the bad than the good when I asked for a bad test score—when compared to the long-lasting effects of bad memories, good memories seem easy to forget. But an inbuilt focus on the negative can also give rise to insecurities about one’s own features—after all, many find it easier to remember a handful of rude comments about their appearances than all the compliments they may have been given.
The shifting pressures of modern society no longer have us in a savage competition to survive; we no longer need to remember which wild berries are poisonous and which are safe. We no longer need to concern ourselves with those primitive threats. Our lives today are ones of relative luxury—we have clean water, all the benefits of electricity and technology, and more. As such, the need for such a negatively-focused mindset is completely gone in our society. Sure, we still do need to worry about upcoming tests and assignments, and later in our life, we will need to worry about bills and taxes and jobs and so much more—but while we do that, we can try to be more mindful of the positive aspects of life. By putting all the negatives of life into perspective, we can see that, in the broader image of life, all the problems that eat away at us are not as bad as they seem. With that, we can live more content and peaceful lives.
When the famous American evangelist Billy Graham first said this, he likely meant it with a religious meaning—to focus on the God-given blessings in one’s life rather than on one’s hardships.
But now, I want to examine this phrase more literally. Why is it that even the smallest misfortunes can overshadow all that is great in a person’s life?
Chances are that you have gotten a bad test grade once in your life, and even though your overall grade in the class was still fine, that poor score still bothered you for the rest of the day. The fact you even remember that test is a sign of how you—and most other people—remember bad events in their life much more vividly than good ones. And the reason why isn’t that everyone is just naturally pessimistic. Rather, the long process of evolution over the past hundreds of thousands of years has trained our brains to “focus on the negative” because remembering harmful situations used to be necessary to our survival—now, even with the comfort and safety of a modern lifestyle, our brains still think the same way.
So how does this thinking really affect our lives? I already mentioned that it is easier to remember the bad than the good when I asked for a bad test score—when compared to the long-lasting effects of bad memories, good memories seem easy to forget. But an inbuilt focus on the negative can also give rise to insecurities about one’s own features—after all, many find it easier to remember a handful of rude comments about their appearances than all the compliments they may have been given.
The shifting pressures of modern society no longer have us in a savage competition to survive; we no longer need to remember which wild berries are poisonous and which are safe. We no longer need to concern ourselves with those primitive threats. Our lives today are ones of relative luxury—we have clean water, all the benefits of electricity and technology, and more. As such, the need for such a negatively-focused mindset is completely gone in our society. Sure, we still do need to worry about upcoming tests and assignments, and later in our life, we will need to worry about bills and taxes and jobs and so much more—but while we do that, we can try to be more mindful of the positive aspects of life. By putting all the negatives of life into perspective, we can see that, in the broader image of life, all the problems that eat away at us are not as bad as they seem. With that, we can live more content and peaceful lives.
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Hi Ayush,
ReplyDeleteYou brought up a great topic in your blog about how many of us always seem to forget the good things such as accomplishments and how we always remember the bad things such as failures or bad grades. I personally connect with this statement as I have constantly focused on remembering the bad grades or failures I faced rather than focusing on the positive things. Every time I get a bad grade or make a mistake, it completely ruins my entire day. Especially on tests or quizzes that I spent a long time studying for, but somehow still end up with an unsatisfactory grade. On the other hand, when I do get a good grade, I quickly replace that memory by remembering all the bad grades I got in the past, leading up to an idea in my mind that the one good grade I get is not enough to forget all the bad grades from the past. I definitely agree that we need to move past remembering the negative as a society and look forward to a more positive mindset, but it will definitely be difficult as many people I know as well feel like there are very few ways out of escaping this idea. It will most definitely be difficult for me because I constantly remind myself of all the failures and bad things I faced, that it can seem like there is not enough good to outweigh the bad. Nevertheless, I will continue to work towards embracing a more positive and uplifting mindset rather than drown myself in bad memories from the past.
Hey Ayush! Your blog made me reflect on my own experiences when recalling certain memories. Personally, I’ve always found it easier to remember an embarrassing experience compared to a happy one, and I never knew why that was until I read through your blog. However, in accordance with what you wrote, I feel like the need to remember negative memories is not completely eradicated from our daily lives but rather alleviated. The most embarrassing memory I have is when I accidentally went into the opposite locker room after swim practice back in middle school, and this experience was so deeply ingrained in my head that I’m almost certain that I will remember this for the rest of my life. As annoying as it is to recall such an uncomfortable memory immediately off the top of my head, there is also a far-stretched bright side when it comes to this: I won’t be repeating the same mistake. To this day, I can still recall the feeling of embarrassment I felt after the incident happened, and that is something I would prefer not to feel again. Therefore, I feel like it is because of this fear of embarrassment that my brain has wired a subconscious alarm into me, where no matter how exhausted I was from swim practice, I would always double check the signs first before entering the locker room. While the memory itself may be uncomfortable to recall, it serves as a powerful reminder of the consequences of a simple mistake. In a way, it's a protective mechanism—just like what you mentioned about how people a long time ago also had in order to avoid certain dangers and to stay alive. Nevertheless, I think your point on turning our mindsets into more positive ones is very valuable, as it will increase happiness in our daily lives. Your suggestion to cultivate mindfulness and perspective and to consciously acknowledge and appreciate the positives in our lives will allow us to reframe our outlook and foster a greater sense of contentment and peace. In doing so, this raises the question: How do we effectively shift our focus from the negative to the positive in a world that often seems to almost entirely focus the former?
ReplyDeleteHi Ayush! I liked how you integrated Billy Graham's quote, as it holds a significant truth in its observation of the human tendency to focus on the negative aspects of life, even when surrounded by blessings. Your exploration of this concept dives into the evolutionary roots of this cognitive bias and its implications on modern society. Your acknowledgment of the innate human tendency to remember bad events more vividly than good ones, crafting a strong example such as receiving a bad test grade to illustrate this point. Furthermore, by highlighting this inherent focus on the negative can manifest in insecurities about one's features, you effectively described how individuals may dwell on negative comments about their appearances rather than positive ones. This tendency reflects a cognitive bias that persists despite the comforts and safety of modern life. In today's society, the need for such a negatively-focused mindset is called into question. While individuals still face challenges and stresses in their daily lives, the pervasive focus on the negative may hinder the many blessings and privileges enjoyed in modern society. Additionally, by advocating for a shift in mindset towards mindfulness of the positive aspects of life, you emphasized the importance of putting negative experiences into perspective. By recognizing that many of life's challenges are not as insurmountable as they may seem in the moment, individuals can cultivate a greater sense of contentment and peace in their lives. Overall, your blog offered a thought-provoking exploration of the human tendency to focus on the negative. Great job!
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