Sampan Mehta Week 12 : Power of “Healthy Selfishness”
Throughout the years while growing up, almost all of us are taught about how selfishness can be a bad thing, and how we should always be selfless and strive to help others. With this teaching, many of us begin to feel extremely guilty whenever we choose to do something for ourselves rather than helping others. For example, it is generally considered selfish to consider your own happiness at the expense of someone else’s happiness, to cut off people who seem overbearing, and even establish healthy boundaries. With the fear of selfishness, we second guess almost anything as we wonder how it will affect others or their happiness. Society has been misusing the term in order to convince us to stop worrying about ourselves and to always focus on other people’s happiness first, even if we are negatively affected. Some actions might be selfish, but they are needed for our overall well being; this is known as “healthy selfishness”.
Healthy selfishness is having respect for your own health, happiness, growth, and freedom. Yet, people around us discourage us from worrying about ourselves, claiming that it is wrong to have such ideas. Some examples of healthy selfishness include healthy boundaries, self-respect, self-care, balancing your needs, and prioritizing your own happiness before thinking about others. Many of us practice these forms of healthy selfishness, yet can be filled with regret and guilt if we put ourselves first. Practicing healthy selfishness is crucial to our emotional and mental health, and it is needed to reduce the standard of constantly creating obstacles in your own life in hopes of helping someone else. Of course, selfishness has its own limits, and it is still healthy to show selflessness, but there is a limit to how far you can go with either. For example, selflessness can be incredibly toxic as it forces people to have the need of always pleasing others, putting other people’s wishes and needs before their own, and can lead to an unhealthy obsession of putting others first at the expense of themselves. Healthy selfishness can help solve a majority of these issues, and it is important to understand that it is totally okay to be selfish sometimes. Society needs to stop demonizing selfishness and rather begin normalizing it. It is still okay to be selfless, but it is important to proceed with caution as it creates unhealthy expectations from others and from yourself to always put others first. That’s why they always tell us to put on our own oxygen mask first in an emergency before helping others, because it is near impossible to help others when you cannot take care of yourself first. To learn more about the benefits of healthy selfishness, please refer to the articles linked below.
Sources:
https://happiful.com/what-is-healthy-selfishness-and-when-is-it-ok-to-be-selfish
https://practicebusiness.co.uk/the-benefits-of-healthy-selfishness
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/problem-selflessness-how-take-your-power-back-allison-andrews
Hi Sampan! I deeply appreciate the topic you have chosen to discuss in this week’s blog. Self-care truly is a critical issue in today’s society, given that various work ethics and mindsets are constantly praised and pushed on social media. This has tremendous impacts on our self-beliefs and perceptions, giving many a reason, as you have mentioned, to “be filled with regret and guilt.” I like how with many issues, the solution to the guilt of selfishness and the harm of selflessness is a balance between the two. Your blog utilizes a friendly, empathetic tone throughout the refutation of society’s fixation on selflessness, which to me is very fitting to the message. Another topic that your blog reminds me of is the balance between hard work and rest, which powerfully applies to the experiences of many students. Even though both can be considered self-serving, putting in work is to selflessness as taking a break is to selfishness. In this way, the necessity to take a break is balanced with the drive to work hard for yourself. In both our topics, social media plays a role in creating a sense of guilt, but this should not be normalized. To engage in activities purely for our desires and recovery truly is an irreplaceable and beneficial section of our lives.
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! Thank you for sharing your opinion on the issue of selfishness versus selflessness, since this is a controversial topic—some people may consider any form of selfishness to be immoral, while others may have a more self-centered view on the world and consider selfishness to be fair. I find that your opinion—that “healthy selfishness” is necessary to maintain one’s mental and physical health at times—is a wonderful middle ground between a completely selfless mindset that can lead to personal harm and a selfish mindset that can harm interpersonal relationships. The examples of “healthy selfishness” and their associated guilt that you added to this blog appeal to me because I see how they affect my life; oftentimes, I struggle to say “no” when people ask me for something because I don’t want to let them down. Another part of this blog that was effective was the analogy you made between the oxygen masks in a plane and “healthy selfishness.” I have traveled in airplanes multiple times in my life, so I am very familiar with the instructions that a person is supposed to put their mask on before they help others put their masks on; however, your analysis of that situation—that a person will not be able to help others if they do not have oxygen themselves—was completely new to me and it solidified your argument that “healthy selfishness” allows a person to flourish because it encourages selflessness only when it does not harm someone. Once again, I appreciate how this blog helped remind me to care for myself as well.
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! I found your blog on the exploration of “healthy selfishness” to offer a stimulating perspective on self-care and personal boundaries. Challenging the societal stigma surrounding the idea of prioritizing one’s mental health is necessary in today’s world. By highlighting the distinction between healthy and toxic forms of selfishness, you helped shed light on the importance of keeping a balanced approach to self-care. I found your emphasis on healthy boundaries, self-respect, and self-care to resonate with me deeply, as it is easy to feel guilty when prioritizing our own over the needs of others. I completely agree with your point about the necessity to cultivate a mindset of healthy selfishness, as it is essential for maintaining strong emotional and mental health. It can empower individuals to honor their own needs and pursue their happiness without feeling burdened by guilt or societal expectations. Additionally, your analogy of the oxygen mask on an airplane serves as a powerful reminder of the importance of prioritizing self-care to care for others effectively. Just as we are instructed to secure our oxygen masks before assisting others in an emergency, practicing healthy selfishness enables individuals to make the strength needed to support others without sacrificing their well-being. In my personal experience, I’ve found that prioritizing my own needs first and setting boundaries has allowed me to create more meaningful relationships with others. Overall, your in-depth exploration of the importance of healthy selfishness and how prioritizing self-care is indeed not selfish is impactful. As we continue to evolve as a society, it is important to challenge outdated notions of selflessness and embrace a more balanced approach to caring for ourselves and others. Great job!
ReplyDeleteHi Sampan! The topic you chose for your blog is extremely interesting. I always thought that being selfish was a bad thing and was when you focused on yourself rather than others which would have been the right thing to do, so the first sentences of your blog were immensely relatable. I have also felt selfish at times, such as when I talked about my interests rather than the person I was talking to. I did not know about “healthy selfishness” before reading your blog so this taught me something new. It seems like “healthy selfishness” goes hand in hand with “essential self-care” as is not at all the general definition of “selfish” I had anticipated. I can see why putting yourself first could be used as a weapon: if someone always put others first before themselves but the others did not return the favor, they would simply be taking advantage of the one caring for them. It feels rather unfair that society expects people to always put others first when there are always people in this world who would put themselves first all the time. This reminds me of back when societies had one ruler in charge and all the “peasants” had to work for the king; it seems odd that this behavior, although at a less extreme degree, is still normalized. The oxygen mask example you used at the end of your blog is such a great example of healthy selfishness: is it wise to help someone first when you are not even able to function normally? That would jeopardize them both, precisely why healthy selfishness is actually more beneficial than always putting others first.
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