Sampan Mehta Week 9: The Power of Judgmental Language and Criticism


At some point in everyone’s lives, everyone has been judged or criticized by others. The feeling of being judged is not good at all, and it can worsen a person’s anxiety or increase self-consciousness. Over winter break, I went on a long overdue trip to India and met so many family members and friends that I did not see for a while. While the trip was great, I faced a problem that left me uncomfortable for the rest of the trip: judgmental comments about me from my elder family members. 

It had been over four years since my last trip to India, and I really changed as a person compared to what my family members had remembered me as. The comments started from the beginning of the trip, mainly about my appearance at first. The criticism started to get worse as I was called out several times for being shy and awkward around others during parties and social events I attended there. Initially, I tried to ignore it, but the comments just kept going to the point that I had to tell them to stop. It was hard talking back to an elder, but I just could not handle the comments anymore. I got the same response every time I spoke up: “it’s just a joke” or “it’s just for fun”. They told me to stop taking everything so seriously, yet they would not stop with their hurtful comments. What they did not acknowledge was how harmful their comments were and how uncomfortable I was being around any of them. For the rest of the trip, I constantly feared being judged negatively or being humiliated in front of other family members. One major factor that hurt me the most was that these judgmental comments were being made by elder family members, which put a greater power on everything they said. 

From this trip, I left feeling even more insecure, constantly worrying what others thought of me, and even had the fear of being called out in front of a large group of people. I was doing some research online about these fears and found an article about social anxiety disorders on the NIMH (National Institute of Mental Health) website. It turns out that I am not alone and that several people have been dealing with social anxiety disorders. My fears started just because of a few comments made by family members, which was apparently “just a joke” to them. People need to realize that the criticism or judgmental comments they make hold a harmful power that the person being judged receives, and the negative effects of these comments lead to longer lasting anxiety and health issues. 

Sources: 

https://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/publications/social-anxiety-disorder-more-than-just-shyness

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Comments

  1. Allison January 18, 2024 at 12:31 PM

    Hi Sampan! I could relate to the experiences you mentioned in your blog; there have also been times where jokes that family members directed towards me were hurtful and not amusing in the slightest. It’s quite disheartening that these experiences are so widespread. I think it was a great idea to pick this topic to connect “language” and “power” by showing how language has the ability to make other people feel worse about themselves. The saying “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt me” is rather untrue as shown by your blog. The mention of social anxiety disorders in your blog backs up the dangers of unthoughtful words with scientific evidence.

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  2. Ayush ChaurasiaJanuary 18, 2024 at 8:18 PM

    Hi Sampan! Though my experiences were not as extreme as yours, I can absolutely relate to some of the feelings of discomfort and humiliation you experienced when your family members joked about you. However, I never worked up the courage to tell any of them that I did not appreciate what they were saying—I applaud you for being able to stand up for yourself. On another note, the organization of this blog post strengthens your conclusion; your inclusion of a detailed personal anecdote to transition into the conclusion paragraph about social anxiety disorders is very effective. I agree with the statement in your conclusion that criticism can often have a detrimental effect on the receiver, especially if the comments being made are not delivered in a respectful manner. Also, the call to the readers to be more respectful when they speak to people is very persuasive because of the pain that you communicated in the preceding paragraphs—when I read that part of your blog, it was a refreshing reminder for me to be more cautious about what I say to my peers.

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  3. Aarya PatilJanuary 23, 2024 at 5:50 PM

    Hi Sampan! I really appreciate how you shared your personal experience on the impact of judgemental comments, especially from elder family members. Even though I have not faced such harsh comments before, I completely understand what you were going through. The overall storyline of your blog conveys the emotional baggage that you had to carry due to your family members, and it effectively highlights the lasting effects on one’s mental health. The overall structure of your blog post was clear and to the point; beginning with a relatable introduction about the general experience of facing criticism. The transition to your own experience during the trip was smooth and provided insight as to what the exact situation was. Furthermore, the use of direct quotes from family members enhances the main claim of your blog and allows the readers to envision the tone of the comments you received. It was very brave of you to speak up and confront the elder family members, as that takes a lot of courage and guts. You should be very proud of yourself and I find this story to be very inspiring! Family is supposed to be a person’s safe space, build you up, not break you down, but that is not true in a lot of cases. The connection you made to social anxiety disorders and the research adds depth to your argument and provides a key takeaway for the reader. Great job overall!

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  4. Siddarth KamathJanuary 24, 2024 at 7:40 PM

    Hello Sampan! I can clearly see the effects of negative comments having an impact on your life as you have mentioned. It is great that you pointed out the specific circumstances and the order of events that led you to make this conclusion. For example, you mentioned the very beginning or when the elder family members started making hurtful comments and regarded these as unimportant due to their belief that they were insignificant. The next step was your action where you told these individual to stop and next was them continuing these judgemental comments. The flow of the ideas was quite evident and was therefore crafted well. I found the introduction of a source in your blog very informative. Including a reputable source such as NIMH makes your ideas stand out as it shows how other people faced the same problem that you faced. It also shows that you are not alone and gives a deeper meaning behind the social anxiety disorder. Overall, the analysis, the exposition, and the whole framework of the blog made it a great read!

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